Hi, my name is…

Camera – Olympus

WELL HELLO YOU AND WELCOME TO A NEW DECADE. Boy am I happy for you to be here and read my nonsense in 2020.

I believe that since you’re here you pretty much know few things about me and presumably like what you see/read but here we are, new year, fresh start and all that jazz so decided a little re-introduction is in order.

Hi, my name is Barbara. Like just in case you didn’t pick that up until now. I am a 25-year-old woman who still feels like mummy’s little girl most days. I’ve been a Londoner for over 3 years now and all my family is back in homeland, Croatia. But all of this you can find out from my Insta bio.

I am here to share my deepest, darkest, most honest self.

Why? Because I am an oversharer and I can’t help it. But also because I want to.

I find it very beneficial to see other women my age or size sharing their problems or worries. When they give advice or tell their stories. When they motivate me or tell me that it’s ok to spend a day on a sofa.

There is something so comforting in sharing my everyday life, my highest highs and lowest lows with strangers on the Internet. And if by doing that I help one, just one person out there, well that’s me happy.

But despite being a perpetual oversharer who’s very active on social media I am a introvert in a weird way. Despite the fact I talk too much, too fast and all time I like to be silent. I like to listen. I like to savour the silence and peace that comes with it.

I adore simplicity and aspire to live minimalist, Scandi lifestyle. I Marie Kondo my life every so often but I’m constantly getting new things so that ain’t happening.

I love listening to music and podcasts more than I like reading books.

I am a movie freak but lately only have time to watch series. Equally I will stay up until 2am to watch Academy awards because “the Oscar goes to…” sentence makes my heart skip a beat. When I was younger I wanted to become a female version of Martin Scorsese or new Meryl Streep.

Pop culture is more important to me than any other section of newspapers and I won’t apologise about it. However, I am very conscious about the happenings in the world. Politics is a topic not everyone wants to discuss yet I am very passionate and could talk about it for hours.

I sometimes lack compassion and often have to stop myself and try to look at things from other perspective.

I hate injustice and when things aren’t by the book. I will stand up for my values and will defend my principles.

I get very loud when happy, very red in cheeks when uncomfortable and VERY, I MEAN VEEEEERY FUNNY when drunk.

I am way smarter than I think. Way more capable then I give myself credit for. And I can cook although it’s the worst thing I have to do in order to survive.

I love to clean and I’m only 100% sure I’m slightly OCD as can’t leave my room in the morning without making my bed.

I am a very typical millennial who eats avocado on toast and keeps dipping in/out of veganism. I love my coffee from independent, posh coffee shops and travelling.

I shop of ASOS like a true basic B and HAVE NO FREAKING REGRETS. Except I have no control which keeps making me stay in my overdraft.

For me fashion is art and I’ve been reading Vogue since 12, however 90% of the time I’m in my white t-shirt, straight jeans and white trainers paired with gold hoop earrings.

I have an unhealthy obsession with trainers.

I am an skincare enthusiast and would spend every last penny on skincare. I also love make up but I use it maybe three times a week.

Glossier balm dotcom
Gold hoop earrings
Keyring

I am UK size 18, which makes me plus size and it’s been a freaking journey to come here where I feel comfortable in my own body. I also have bad days where I can’t even look myself in the mirror.

I have the most supporting and loving family. I am a daughter, sister, gran-daughter, niece and auntie to the best people on this planet and I wouldn’t be so in love with life if they weren’t part of it.

My nephew is most probably the closest I will ever have to children. He is one of few I’d give my life for.

I often complain about little things because I find them easier to cope with if I talk about them. I also don’t feel like a hypocrite to do so as I’ve never really complained whilst having cancer.

I like to eat my feelings, mostly in fries and bread.

I like to sing in the shower.

I prefer vanilla over chocolate and actually I don’t eat much of chocolate. Once a year I like to eat a jar of Nutella with a spoon.

I have 3 jobs. None of those have anything to do with what I studied for three years in uni.

I get bored easily. Paradoxically I’m could watch Friends or Sex and the City forever and ever. My favourite music hasn’t changed for years because when I find a song I like, I listen to it until my ears bleed and then I don’t want to hear it ever again.

I think that the most important relationship I have is the one with myself.

I’m not afraid of dying.

But sometimes I’m scared of living.

Dogs and sharks are my favourite animals. I don’t like cats. Or bugs. I especially hate pigeons.

I am impossible to be around whilst PMS-ing.

I am very complicated to date. I am selfish.

I will never stop wearing animal print.

I prefer staying at home to going out.

I will probably never own a house because of Deliveroo and Uber.

I am fully addicted to Coke Zero.

I’m a nanny to two incredible girls. L who makes me laugh to the point I could (I did) pee my pants and P who is the bravest of them all whilst living with her disability.

I allow myself a monthly cry session where I release all my stress, negativity and worries.

I can’t watch horror movies since 7th grade.

I believe in God but stopped going to church.

When I have bad mental health days I like to watch Modern Family or Grace and Frankie, drink mint tea and have my essential oil diffuser on.

I geek out on routines and to-do lists, Harry Potter and history.

When sad, my sister sends me memes and my mum tells me to cry it out and then get my shit together.

I watch way to much YouTube.

I am a professional stalker and Netflix watcher.

I don’t take myself or life to seriously.

I am anything but average.

I’m always wearing my positive pants.

I am flawed.

I will share my opinion, asked or not.

I don’t apologise unless I really mean it.

My every day is a bad hair day.

I’m a serial procrastinator.

I get easily annoyed if hungry, late, hot, tired or desperate for a wee.

I often catch myself being ungrateful.

But I’m working on myself.

AND I am around if you need anything. Most importantly, thank you for being here.

B x

t-shirt: ASOS

clips: H&M

earrings: Rock n Rose

*This post contains some affiliate links

Thank you, next!

Thank you next is my most listened song on Spotify in 2019. NO SHIT SHERLOCK. Ari girl thought me so much so there’s no surprise that Jan 2019 me and December 2019 me are two VERY different people.

My calendar year is usually Jan 3rd to December 26th, and anything in between is a transitional period. I just need few days to sit down and look back for the last time and decide what shitty moments to leave in the past, say thanks for all the good and take all the lessons I possibly can. And to set goals.

But I can’t write about a new year without reflecting on this past year.

2019 was, phew. Indescribable really. It was a year that had so much good but paradoxically said: “did you die though?” The whole mood people were generally in was “disappointed but not surprised” and frankly I get it. Despite several bad days and few heart breaks, I had a great year. You want to know why? Because I made it possible for myself. I had the AUDACITY. To say what’s on my mind, to ask for what I deserve and to walk away when someone/something didn’t serve me anymore.

I learnt so much about myself. Rediscovered this whole new nearly adult person who doesn’t settle for less than she deserves. Who refuses to stay quiet if injustice is being done or if someone is in need of kind words. A person who fully accepted who she is, what she likes and what she wants. A woman who hates her time being wasted and despises being treated like a child. A friend who has friends she can depend on and share a little bit of comfortable silence with. I found new passions. I achieved some of my childhood goals. I laughed. I cried. I lost family members but equally learnt there is a new one on the way. I made peace with some people but decided to leave them in the past. I left all of the bitter, messy, and hurt behind. I found love. Love for me, my body and my well being. I became more open to new beginnings, new chapters and new opportunities. I stopped being so hard on myself but also on the others. I let go of things that can’t be controlled and I restored my inner peace. I am more grounded and more present in my life.

And ready to take on another year.

Every year I write down resolutions, so why would this year be any different? However, this time I want to keep them to myself. Because in 2020, I want to be a girl who doesn’t talk about what she’s going to do – she just does it. A girl who trusts herself and has no doubt in her abilities. Someone who has faith in timing and is slowly but steadily moving towards her goals because she know’s better than expecting instant changes. I want to know when I need to push harder and when I need to pull back. Someone who rests when needed knowing it’s for the best. A woman who has her priorities sorted and is guarding that fiercely. Someone who isn’t her own obstacle.

And to you I want the same. I hope you find yourself. Your true-honest-self.

Don’t be scared to embrace that pearson.

There is nothing wrong with being a half-vegan, semi-sustainable or that basic bitch.

I also wish you peace. And that you fall asleep the moment your head hits the pillow. That you stop overthinking. I hope you have no need for sad tears. That you don’t know of that horrible chest feeling when you’re in ER, or waiting for the results. I wish you have a job you’ll love going to and that alarm sound isn’t the worst thing ever. I hope you have no regrets because what you did was what you wanted in that exact moment. I hope you stop looking what’s the last time someone was online, that you believe in yourself no matter what and that you stop explaining yourself to others. Never forget about the people who raised you and that in every moment of your life you know who your real friends are. I hope you experience more happiness than sadness. Most of all I wish you health. Both physical and mental, because then you’ve got what you need.

Lots of love and massive thank YOU to one and every single one of you wonderful beasts reading this blog and following my daily tantrums on Instagram.

Now go on, have the best night of your year.

Love, B x

*Aff. links

Top: Weekday via ASOS

Skirt: New Look

Headband: ASOS (sold out but similar)

2020 Diary: Oliver Bonas

Earrings: ASOS

Hand cream: Beauty Pie

Jewellery Box: Oliver Bonas

My all time favourite Christmas movies

People I don’t wan to alarm anyone but it’s less than 10 days to Christmas.

HOLY MOLY! Isn’t December just the most wonderful time of the year?

I really do enjoy Xmas and the whole shebang that comes with it. I sometimes get very stressy depressy during hols because I always pressure myself into having all the fun, but do you really want to know what’s my definition of fun? CHILLIN’. I just want to chill in front of my telly, watch some Xmas movies, have my fairy lights on, maybe eat some mince pies (JK they taste horrible, I’ll eat shortbread cookies) and drink a cup or two of mulled wine.

There, this is how I lift my Xmas spirit. And today I am sharing A LIST (I do love a good list!!!) of my all time favourite holly jolly movies. So pick one, I mean you can’t get it wrong. Get yourself cosy, with a candle or fairy lights or whatever works for you and enjoy your December evenings to the fullest.

  1. LOVE ACTUALLY you can watch it on Sky Cinema or Amazon Prime. This is one of my favourite movies EVER. I know every word of it and yes it’s been 16 years but I still can’t forgive Alan Rickman for cheating on Emma Thompson OK???
  2. Home alone 1 and 2, both on Amazon Prime or YouTube. Probably watched both part a million times. And will probably watch it another million times.
  3. ELF is on Apple TV or Amazon Prime. SANTA IS COMING? Don’t be a cotton-headed ninny muggins, spread some holiday cheer and laughs with Elf. IT IS THE BEST.
  4. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone can be found on Amazon Prime or YouTube. OH my, Harry Potter’s first Christmas in Hogwarts usually turns into a HP marathon but isn’t what *that time between xmas and new year when no one knows what day or date it is* is for?
  5. The Family Stone is on Amazon Prime. It a very complicated and cheesy rom-com and it just makes me feel like my family isn’t all that messes up.
  6. It’s a wonderful life is on YouTube or Amazon Prime. An ultimate Hollywood movie. SO worth the watch at least once in a lifetime!
  7. How Grinch stole Christmas on Netflix and YouTube. CLASSIC.
  8. Meet Me in St. Louis Amazon Prime or Google Play. Watch it just to Have yourself a merry little Christmas!!!
  9. The Holiday is on Netflix and Amazon Prime. Another very cute rom-com. I can’t get enough.
  10. The Santa Clause is available via Amazon Prime, YouTube, Disney +. This screams CHILDHOOD OK? And it would also make me jelly my dad isn’t the Santa Clause.
  11. Love the Coopers can be streamed on YouTube or Amazon Prime. It’s very celebrity packed and had few very sweet moments so it’s definitely worth the watch. I love it very much.
  12. A bad Moms Christmas is on Netflix. Ultimate shitty comedy that makes you piss your pants and literally let your brain C H I L L .

Detoxing, digitally.

So here we are, digital detox.

I am 25 and yes social media is a big chunk of my life, ok Karen?

I know it such a silent action but it makes me feel like I’m not alone. Like I’m in a room full of people and I’m talking to them about my current worries, which I am forever thankful for.

I’ve created my own little community on Instagram and it’s my safe space to pour out my high and my lows. I’ve started my Instagram profile as a diary during my cancer journey but found it very helpful after that as well, so it’s been like good 8 years for crying out loud.

It balances my mental health, mostly because I don’t talk about my darkest moments to anyone but my mum or my therapist. So why not share it with strangers all over the world. It’s pretty damn great but I also realise it is not for everyone.

Equally, I need a break from it. From time to time. I do and it has to do with me getting v self-involved and just getting fed up with seeing my own face and hearing my own voice.

PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE AND PICK UP YOUR LIFE.

And just giving my brain a sweet break. Slowing down and not being in control. Basically switching off a world that’s oddly very loud and flashy and having a moment of silence. That’s how I feel when I’m not on social media, my brain is silent. And it makes me feel lonely. But I love being by myself. With my thoughts. And silence. It recharges me.

Not knowing what’s everyone’s up to is often isolating. But guess what? I can survive if I don’t know what someone’s eating and wearing or kissing or driving! Most times it’s actually oddly refreshing.

In the past I would get serious fomo from stalking other people’s profiles and would occasionally feel like poop based on the facts that

a) I don’t have plump lips or perky boobs (now days both proven to be very fake), a Bentley, 2358295 designer bags, and I’m not gifted a floating house to stay at in Indonesia’s top hotel resort

b) my school mates have husbands, and houses and babies and I’m not even sure I want a baby but OK

c) I would waste my time, like literally hours of time on going down that internet’s rabbit hole that would lead me to my neighbour’s boyfriend’s cousin’s cat’s sister’s profile and like what fresh hell?

But here I am. Having a healthy relationship with social media and shit,

who am I?

Having a detox or a break from your socials is actually very easy although it might feel like a end of a world to you.

I started with genuinely 5 minutes a day.

I didn’t reach for my phone the minute I woke up. I kept it in my pocket whilst walking down the street.

It’s as simple as that.

I didn’t give up my phone and went living in the wild with monkeys.

I took small steps,

And slowly, I built it up. I trained my brain muscles.

I stopped taking it the bathroom (we all do it ok?).

Didn’t take it out of my bag whilst talking to a friend. I was present in a moment.

A for a hot minute I felt very much content, but there was a period when I’d feel myself itching for my phone, like a real ass junkie.

I was v anxious when I was offline as much as I was online and I was in the big freaking limbo but I found it helpful to delete the actual apps of the phone. That way I’d prevent myself from habitually having a cheeky look at the feed.

Once I got in a routine of not checking my phone ALL THE TIME, I started practising my social media breaks more frequently.

I don’t use my phone at least 45 minutes before bedtime (unless on a night out!)

I stay completely offline once a week.

I like to put down my phone and pick up my life. Live more intentionally. It is not the easiest thing to do sometimes but it is a great way to exercise mental self-care.

I can only urge you to try it for you and your well being.

B x

When life gives you lemons.

November gives me chills. And not because it’s freaking cold outside but because November is my reminder. Reminder to be grateful for being alive.

So here’s the thing, I had cancer. And before you give me your pity and puppy eyes, please note that I said had. Which means I have no more. And yes it was “traumatic” and fucking hard but truth be told there is people who are going trough worse shit every day so let’s just acknowledge that, and that I am not anymore. I am healthy.

I don’t mean to sound like a twat. I’m sure you’re very kind and respectful individual, and asking if I’m ok? is more than nice but I don’t want this story to be my cancer story. Simply because I’m not ready to share it yet. I’m still bubbling it in my inner self and trying to form it into words that won’t sound too painful but also too vain. But that story will come out one day. And it might be an essay, it might be a book, who knows? But this is not it.

This November marks eight years of me getting leukaemia diagnosis and I’ve been reflecting A LOT. Whenever I catch myself being ungrateful little shit and care for material more than I should (which I hate to admit I’ve been doing quite a lot lately) I just stop and give myself a huge fucking reminder how good my life actually is.

Apparently there are two kind of people in the world: when life gives you lemons you can either throw them back at it or squeeze them and make a lemonade. However I’m more of a take a lemon, slice it and bite into it after shoot of tequila kinda gal.

What can I say, I do love tequila. But also I am not letting anything or anyone else being in control of my life.

I spent too long just sort of drifting and letting things happen to me. Both good and bad things. And I know how fucking miserable and little I felt during that period of my life. Those crippling feelings of emptiness and uselessness.

We’ve all been there. For one reason or another, we have ALL been though something that made us wonder if we’ll make it. That’s why I’m writing this after all. For you. So you know you’re not alone.

Life is hard on it’s own. Without depression and anxiety thrown in there. And sometimes life doesn’t seem to be fair. Or even remotely good. But you can’t live surrounded by your troubles and worries EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for the rest of your life.

I read an article recently that says how people who are happy are desperately looking for things to make them miserable.

MIND.BLOWN.? To me it sounds very familiar. I’ve been doing that over past few months. Whenever I woke up feeling good and my mental health was under control I’d find a thing that I could moan about.

Well I think fucking not Barbara. Get yourself together. AND I DID.

I flicked through my diary and photos from eight and seven years ago. It was enough of a reminder.

And you know what I’ve learnt? GRATITUDE. AND HAPPINESS IN EVERYDAY little things. Like having time for yourself. First sip of your morning coffee. Or fresh bread. Hot showers. Nice face cream. Or breathing crisp air.

I had power of being in control of most important thing – my happiness.

And I am happier than ever before.

A lot of it is about being in control –you can worry about not having a secure job, or enough money or reliable network of people but this level of control is something we can all create ourselves.

It’s normal to occasionally whine about the weather, and tube delays and how the dress on your wish list is out of stock – we don’t have authority over that.

It’s ok to keep dreaming bigger and aiming for more that doesn’t make your less grateful. It makes you having a purpose in life.

I want to have a family and write a book and buy my own home – but I won’t be unhappy because I don’t have those things yet, because I’m grateful for everything I do have and I am more than aware that something more awful than being in my overdraft, or gaining weight, could happen.

Today has been cancelled, go back to bed.

To anyone going through a hard time but still showing up, getting dressed and putting their damn shoes on every day, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Also to anyone who’s going through it and isn’t able to get out of bed because of it-YOU ARE ALSO NOT ALONE. Whether it’s for physical, social, emotional or any reason-your journey is valid and you deserve to be seen and get love or space if that’s what you need in order to heal. You are a beautiful human and I promise that it’s going to get better.

And there is goes. Just when you think life is great, all there is are sunshine and rainbows, you’re more than satisfied with what you’ve got and who you are, you look yourself in the mirror and you’re happy with how you look, you finally think how you got this, this balance between everything

THERE IS GOES. LIFE GOES TO SHIT.

I’ve been bottling up some feelings for sure. I mean we all have a mini drawer in our brains where we send all those problems that can either be dealt with later or are Major problems (yes with capital M) you absolutely have no fucking willingness or mental power to deal with so we just lock them away. That’s what 90% of adulthood is anyway.

BUT all this is fine. You see, I AM USED TO ALL OF THIS. However what I am absolutely not used to is when something I completely got over, patched it back together until it was healthy enough to put in the past comes back in my life knocking on my mini drawer in my brain until one massive motherfucking Kraken of the emotions erupts.

Now it doesn’t really matter what exactly happened to me. What or who caused that carnival in my head. But it happened. It is now first time it did and let me tell you it won’t be last time either. BUT here is what I learnt this time around.

YOU ARE LOVED NO MATTER HOW YOU FEEL.

1.) Try not to be hurt by people. Especially if you know they are hurting as well. And this is I know not a walk in the park my friend. Relationships are complicated and I am not a big fan of anything complicated because I strongly believe everything is simple (except maths, f u c k that) So I try to stay out of complicated relationships. But sometimes you are related to people. Or married. Or you’re under a 12 month contract together. So you can’t exactly escape them.

It is then that you have to decided whether this person is worth your time and love and mental ability to forgive them. Is this person worth you. Or is you and your inner peace more worthy.

I long for the day I decide to put myself first! (and so does my therapist) And I know I always preach about that, how it’s not selfish to choose yourself, to protect your feelings and your mental health over anyone else, but here’s the thing! I mostly talk about it all the time because I suck at being that person and it’s me reminding myself to do so.

I can’t emphasise enough how important is for us humans to realise that we are the only ones who are in our lives ’til we die. So putting you as your top priority is not only ok, it’s mandatory.

And sometimes other people decided to choose themselves over us, and that is fine. Don’t take it personally. Take it as a chance to work on yourself, for yourself, by yourself.

2.) You are loved no matter how you feel.

I’m a talker. I literally talk about everything, with everyone. But when it comes to hurt feelings, feeling small or desire to spend an eternity under your bed covers and pretending that everything is fine, then I don’t talk. I lose all my words and only thing I have left is my thoughts. At least I am very good at thinking that. Truth is that I have much more than what I think.

I have a family who loves me unconditionally. Friends who are struggling as much as I do yet are willing to show up anytime and anywhere. And most importantly, I’ve got me.

A very sad, hurt and hopeless me. But I know that this person isn’t really me. It’s someone who going to a rough patch and need just needs a little bit of time and a little bit of extra love to go through it.

The best thing I can do for myself is to love myself on bad days as much as I love myself on good ones.

No matter how melancholic this sounds but just because you’re taking time out, time to think and recover an get back on track doesn’t mean that the Earth is going to stop. But it also doesn’t mean you’re worth less. Loved less. Or even strong less. Your journey is important. TAKE YOUR TIME. And when you’re ready to come back the Earth is still going to spin, you are still going to be loved and your place under the Sun is going to be waiting for you.

3.) Time heals.

It will take time. And believe it or not you will get better. And then you’ll hurt again. At some point even more than before. But then one day you will wake up and you will be one-hundred-percent OK.

Sometimes it takes 3 weeks, sometimes 3 years and sometimes 3 days.

From time to time you’ll only need a 3 minute cry out in your office bathroom or if you’re more like me in front of your Starbucks cashier because they didn’t heat up your toastie.

But trust me when I tell you, the misery and emptiness you’re feeling on your worst day are not staying there forever.

It is going to be OK.

Shout out to everyone making progress that no one recognizes because you never let anyone see your darkest moments. You’ve been silently winning battles and transforming yourself, be proud of every step you’re making in the right direction. Keep going because you got this.

Binge worth Netflix shows I’m loving at the moment.

Me watching Netflix is about 72% of my evenings. Not even going to try sugar coat this terrible statistic. (other 28% is either me in the pub, me in the club or me snoring with a book on my lap)

Because what is better than some Netflix and chill after an exhausting day of work or you trying to survive that nasty hungover?

I love to suggest to my friends what to watch so we can obsess together over something, but in their eyes I’m not competent enough just because I’ve never seen a single episode of GOT. (dunno if this is used but I am referring to Game(s?) of Thrones)

But that irrelevant fact aside, I’ve got quite a few of you that always ask what to watch and frankly I take great pleasure in suggesting and discussing this obviously very important topic in ones life.

These are my current favourites which change every month or so. You might’ve seen some, you probably watched some, and you’ve probably never heard of some. Give them a go! They’re approved!

Without further nagging, here’s six titles you should give a try this weekend!

STRANGER THINGS. My story with ST started nearly 3 years ago now, when I was babysitting one very late Friday evening, and decided to start watching the ” phenomenal” new programme no one would shut up about. 15 minutes in, my hands were sweaty, my usually bradycardic heart rate went through the roof and I nearly shit my pants. I’ve turned off the TV, turned on all the lights in the house and called my mum because I was PETRIFIED. And that was it, IT WAS A NO FOR ME. Fast forward to this June when my then boyfriend insisted we watch ST because I’m missing out but more importantly he’s so brave and wanted to show off his fearlessness. Three episodes in and I went from someone with very little interest in the show and the premise behind it to absolutely loving it. I wanted to adopt Eleven, move to Hawkins, Indiana and marry chief Hopper. I binge watched all three season in under two weeks, and then re-watched everything in another two. I don’t really know which tv show can I compare it to because this show is beyond words. Season 4 can’t come quick enough because it is truly B I T C H I N’.

WORKING MOMS. Is a comedy that absolutely nails working motherhood with wit and irony. IT IS OBVS very relatable even to me who is working with children on every day basis. It’s very Sex and the City, the friendship formation part, and swearing and drinking. Three seasons in and I laughed out loud at every single episode so far.

DEAR WHITE PEOPLE. Before we I even start, YES a title is off-putting BUT I indulged, and so should you. The reason I ate this show up when I started watching it was its phenomenal style, with an at first confusing but engrossing structure and shooting that really shows off the vibe they are going with. Characters are my age and real life problems are shown. AND if you’re white and think this show isn’t for you, you ARE SO WRONG (privileged) SIR! Shows like these spark thoughts and discussions, and so we can come together as a people and as a society. If you open your hearts instead of your ears, and use your funny bones instead of your feelings, I bet you could understand or get behind this show.

13 REASONS WHY. Ok, ok, ok. This series is absolutely fantastic yet so absolutely horrifically tragically horrendous. I found first season very hard to watch because it was magnificently written and everything from music to the cast was absolutely perfect, LIKE it is actually real (which sadly it is). Season two was a bit quieter but with equally strong message, AND then there is the third season which wasn’t my favourite but was just as mind blowing as the first one. I personally prefer comedy over dramatic shows because they sometimes trigger my mental health issues and 13RW wasn’t an easy watch for me however I literally swallowed it. It is so powerful that it actually makes you consider your actions more and I just wanted to be there for people even more. The series is not for the weak (and a bit too harsh for the hungover ones) but I would definitely recommend it, if nothing you’ll learn how to take other people’s feelings a bit more seriously.

This show has the capacity to shake you from inside, so please if watching make sure you either watch it with someone or that you actually talk to someone about your emotions. There is people who care about you!

AtYpical. A cute comedy that follows a teenage boy who has autism. He’s a bit like Sheldon from the Big bang theory. The series is absolutely brilliant. Funny, sensitive, heartwarming and on times even heartbreaking! I finished watching both seasons over one very hungover weekend with Pad Thai and coke Zero on repeat, AND I still claim that was one of the best recovery weekends of my life.

Bonding. Extremely over the top series, which in my personal opinion needed more episodes and not only seven with under 20 minutes each. It took me one afternoon to finish it and I managed to completely flip over it yet stay hungry for more. It’s a dark comedy that shows how students these days really have to work all sorts of explicit jobs to stay in school and not end up on the street. Hoping that Netflix won’t let us down and sign them up for second season with hopefully more to follow.

Here is also few titles I l o v e and think are worth mentioning: Sex Education, Friends from college, Good girls, Dead to me, Grace & Frankie.