Hi, my name is…

Camera – Olympus

WELL HELLO YOU AND WELCOME TO A NEW DECADE. Boy am I happy for you to be here and read my nonsense in 2020.

I believe that since you’re here you pretty much know few things about me and presumably like what you see/read but here we are, new year, fresh start and all that jazz so decided a little re-introduction is in order.

Hi, my name is Barbara. Like just in case you didn’t pick that up until now. I am a 25-year-old woman who still feels like mummy’s little girl most days. I’ve been a Londoner for over 3 years now and all my family is back in homeland, Croatia. But all of this you can find out from my Insta bio.

I am here to share my deepest, darkest, most honest self.

Why? Because I am an oversharer and I can’t help it. But also because I want to.

I find it very beneficial to see other women my age or size sharing their problems or worries. When they give advice or tell their stories. When they motivate me or tell me that it’s ok to spend a day on a sofa.

There is something so comforting in sharing my everyday life, my highest highs and lowest lows with strangers on the Internet. And if by doing that I help one, just one person out there, well that’s me happy.

But despite being a perpetual oversharer who’s very active on social media I am a introvert in a weird way. Despite the fact I talk too much, too fast and all time I like to be silent. I like to listen. I like to savour the silence and peace that comes with it.

I adore simplicity and aspire to live minimalist, Scandi lifestyle. I Marie Kondo my life every so often but I’m constantly getting new things so that ain’t happening.

I love listening to music and podcasts more than I like reading books.

I am a movie freak but lately only have time to watch series. Equally I will stay up until 2am to watch Academy awards because “the Oscar goes to…” sentence makes my heart skip a beat. When I was younger I wanted to become a female version of Martin Scorsese or new Meryl Streep.

Pop culture is more important to me than any other section of newspapers and I won’t apologise about it. However, I am very conscious about the happenings in the world. Politics is a topic not everyone wants to discuss yet I am very passionate and could talk about it for hours.

I sometimes lack compassion and often have to stop myself and try to look at things from other perspective.

I hate injustice and when things aren’t by the book. I will stand up for my values and will defend my principles.

I get very loud when happy, very red in cheeks when uncomfortable and VERY, I MEAN VEEEEERY FUNNY when drunk.

I am way smarter than I think. Way more capable then I give myself credit for. And I can cook although it’s the worst thing I have to do in order to survive.

I love to clean and I’m only 100% sure I’m slightly OCD as can’t leave my room in the morning without making my bed.

I am a very typical millennial who eats avocado on toast and keeps dipping in/out of veganism. I love my coffee from independent, posh coffee shops and travelling.

I shop of ASOS like a true basic B and HAVE NO FREAKING REGRETS. Except I have no control which keeps making me stay in my overdraft.

For me fashion is art and I’ve been reading Vogue since 12, however 90% of the time I’m in my white t-shirt, straight jeans and white trainers paired with gold hoop earrings.

I have an unhealthy obsession with trainers.

I am an skincare enthusiast and would spend every last penny on skincare. I also love make up but I use it maybe three times a week.

Glossier balm dotcom
Gold hoop earrings

I am UK size 18, which makes me plus size and it’s been a freaking journey to come here where I feel comfortable in my own body. I also have bad days where I can’t even look myself in the mirror.

I have the most supporting and loving family. I am a daughter, sister, gran-daughter, niece and auntie to the best people on this planet and I wouldn’t be so in love with life if they weren’t part of it.

My nephew is most probably the closest I will ever have to children. He is one of few I’d give my life for.

I often complain about little things because I find them easier to cope with if I talk about them. I also don’t feel like a hypocrite to do so as I’ve never really complained whilst having cancer.

I like to eat my feelings, mostly in fries and bread.

I like to sing in the shower.

I prefer vanilla over chocolate and actually I don’t eat much of chocolate. Once a year I like to eat a jar of Nutella with a spoon.

I have 3 jobs. None of those have anything to do with what I studied for three years in uni.

I get bored easily. Paradoxically I’m could watch Friends or Sex and the City forever and ever. My favourite music hasn’t changed for years because when I find a song I like, I listen to it until my ears bleed and then I don’t want to hear it ever again.

I think that the most important relationship I have is the one with myself.

I’m not afraid of dying.

But sometimes I’m scared of living.

Dogs and sharks are my favourite animals. I don’t like cats. Or bugs. I especially hate pigeons.

I am impossible to be around whilst PMS-ing.

I am very complicated to date. I am selfish.

I will never stop wearing animal print.

I prefer staying at home to going out.

I will probably never own a house because of Deliveroo and Uber.

I am fully addicted to Coke Zero.

I’m a nanny to two incredible girls. L who makes me laugh to the point I could (I did) pee my pants and P who is the bravest of them all whilst living with her disability.

I allow myself a monthly cry session where I release all my stress, negativity and worries.

I can’t watch horror movies since 7th grade.

I believe in God but stopped going to church.

When I have bad mental health days I like to watch Modern Family or Grace and Frankie, drink mint tea and have my essential oil diffuser on.

I geek out on routines and to-do lists, Harry Potter and history.

When sad, my sister sends me memes and my mum tells me to cry it out and then get my shit together.

I watch way to much YouTube.

I am a professional stalker and Netflix watcher.

I don’t take myself or life to seriously.

I am anything but average.

I’m always wearing my positive pants.

I am flawed.

I will share my opinion, asked or not.

I don’t apologise unless I really mean it.

My every day is a bad hair day.

I’m a serial procrastinator.

I get easily annoyed if hungry, late, hot, tired or desperate for a wee.

I often catch myself being ungrateful.

But I’m working on myself.

AND I am around if you need anything. Most importantly, thank you for being here.

B x

t-shirt: ASOS

clips: H&M

earrings: Rock n Rose

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